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Gay Jock
Dear Dr. Ava
Q & A Single Men
by Dr. Ava Cadell
Gay Jock
Question: I’m a 23-year-old gay man who has finally decided it’s time to come out of the closet. Trust me – this will come as a big shock to most of my friends and family because I’ve always been kind of a big sports jock and I’ve had a number of girlfriends (though I’m now ashamed to admit that I just used them as props in my masquerade). Do you have any advice on how I should break the news to my parents? My intuition tells me they’re going to be devastated when they find out their son -- the former captain of the varsity wrestling team – plans on wrestling with boys for the rest of his life.
Answer: This is your life and you have to enjoy your reality the way you want to live it. The people who love and care about you will ultimately understand, (even if they don’t like it), and they will learn to live with it. Nevertheless, my advice to you is not to jump into this without doing some research first. Your intuition is already telling you that your parents will be devastated. If you are unprepared, it can be a traumatic experience for everyone. Some people I know are closer with their families while others are not, so before you break the news to them read some of the different approaches in the following books and determine the best one for your individual situation: OUTING YOURSELF by Michaelangelo Signorile, COMING OUT TO PARENTS by Mary Borhek, NOW THAT YOU'RE OUT OF THE CLOSET by Linda Handel, JOCKS: True Stories of America's Gay Male Athletes by Dan Woog.
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