Your Sex Life
by Dr. Ava Cadell
Do you know what the latest growing trend is in America's lovemaking circles? If you open your eyes you'll see hints of it in the body ornaments and body piercing fads all around you. Ever notice all those fashions featuring lots of leather and latex? What could all this mean?
It means that S & M (that's right sadomasochism) and B & D (bondage and discipline) is what's hot. You've got it! Students, secretaries, customer service reps, maybe even your relatives or your boss are really masters, mistresses, and/or slaves at heart. If you're really into it, S & M can be one of the 'safest' forms of sex around.
So now you think you're surrounded by degenerates and sickos? You think S & M belongs out there with homosexuality and fetishism and things that are just too weird and abnormal to accept? Well, think again - guys, when you make love to your girlfriend and you give her a little slap on the butt and she asks you to do it a little harder, that's S & M. And, ladies, when you are at the point of no return, you're climaxing, don't you sometimes dig your fingernails into his back? I thought so, that's S & M too. Do you enjoy that extra nipple stimulation, so rough that it has to hurt just a little to feel good?
Yes, S & M again. How about when he tells you all those nasty things he wants to do to you? And don't you feel a little humiliated when he calls you a whore or a slut during sex? That's B & D. When you blindfold your lover and tease him or her with sexual anticipation, it's all a form of B & D. If you've ever been in any of these common situations, then you are into S & M or B & D without even knowing it. And, by adding some knowledge of the S & M arts to your lovemaking, you can get a reputation for being a little more sophisticated than that other person they've been dating.
You don't have to spend a lot of money on paraphernalia. See those clothespins? Thought they were just for the laundry? Well, think again. How about clamping those on her nipples for extra stimulation, or on her clitoris, or put one on her labia and stretch them out of the way, the better to orally service her. Ladies, those scarves you use for your hair can also be used to tie up or be tied down with. Maybe even as a blindfold. That belt around his waist, do you think it's only for holding his pants up?
A word of caution should be mentioned here, especially as these kinds of household items lend themselves to spontaneity among beginners, or casual sex partners. Even though S & M can provide some of the least risky sexual outlets in this day and age, it is also not entirely out of the long shadow of AIDS. If the two of you get so enthusiastic so as to draw blood, even just a drop from a welting, then the exchange of bodily fluids that can transfer the HIV virus is possible. Especially if this is with a new, or newer partner and the S & M activity is part of foreplay, all procedures for safe sex must be observed.
The pain level of men and women is a gradual thing and varies significantly with the individual. It is never a good idea to presume that any slave automatically is capable of living up to your standards. The slave - even when losing control, remains in control, and must tell the dominant where their comfort level lies. To this end, code words are very important: For example the words, red, yellow and green. The reason for this is, when rape fantasies or other violating scenarios are being acted out, the slave will often say 'stop' when she really means 'go'. By using code words that mean the same thing - like red for stop, yellow for maybe or green for go, both master and slave can reach the same understanding without disturbing the fantasy. Bondage: a popular favorite of the ladies, whether you bind with toilet paper, rope, or handcuffs that feeling of helplessness can't be beat. Try adding a blindfold or a collar and leash to complete the role-playing.
Nothing beats a good whipping, and both men and women enjoy it. The type of whip you use should be directly related to your slave's 'pain tolerance level.' Be careful not to whip on the back (it can be harmful if the kidney area is hurt) so keep spanking to the buttocks unless your slave asks you to whip them in a specific spot.
The majority of B & D enthusiasts get off on verbal humiliation as well as bondage. The master or mistress may insult the slave by criticizing the size of their sex organs, demanding obedience, and threatening unbearable pain. Be careful because words can be more damaging than any sex toy, and only if the partners can differentiate between 'sex talk' and 'day to day talk' should they indulge in
Masks and Hoods:
It is a small step from blindfolds to the sort of leather mask that covers the face. Normally, these hoods have zippers for the mouth, which can affect breath control. Any mechanism used to control the breathing of another human being can lead to fatal results and should be cautioned. Occasionally gas masks are used in extreme S & M cases to control the amount of oxygen leading to the brain which in my opinion is a 'death wish' on the part of the slave.
While guys also can enjoy a good bite, and some heavy pinching, let's face it, women just have more to work with. Breast bondage is very popular, and there are several pre-made items (such as bras with sharp little points to bite the flesh) to spare you from having to learn the ropes. Of course the nipples get most of the attention; by using nipple clamps they can be elongated, and if your slave has pierced nipples, you can attach a charm through them.
Cock and Ball Torture:
Cock rings (which traps the blood in the penis, so that he will last longer) and other erectile enhancers lend themselves well to restraining toys. The 'Seven Gates of Hell' with it's succession of seven increasingly smaller rings is noteworthy. If the penis is pierced, you can attach a chain and pull on the foreskin whenever he's been a bad body. There are restraints available for the balls as well, allowing for weights to be attached.
Regardless, how involved in S & M you decide to become, there are some important points to remember. All of us are dominant and submissive to some degree (are you a top or a bottom or maybe a little of both?). If you are a 'top' then you crack the whip. If you're a 'bottom' and you know which bottom we're talking about, then you're one of those people who think it's better to receive than to give, and you get what you deserve. Finally, here's a little thought on S & M and B & D which I think sums up the whole subject rather nicely: it is frequently said that only someone who has been a good slave can be a good master!
Link to Sexual Consent Form
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