Dear Dr. Ava

Improve Lovemaking

Question: I have been happily married for 3 years to a wonderful, loving woman, a great mother and a true friend.  I would like to learn additional ways to please my terrific wife.  She never complains, even when we make love and she doesn’t have an orgasm.  She always wants to please me orally, in different sexual positions and she even masturbates me when I want.  She is so unselfish that I want to please her even more.  I want her to have the best orgasms, but I don’t know how to make her come.  I’d like to learn more in order to have an excellent selection of techniques and ideas.  I'm sure it's best to learn from a woman, especially you.

Answer: I’m always impressed when a man wants to improve his lovemaking skills to please his lover.  First and foremost, you must understand that a woman needs to be prepared for sex unlike a man who can get aroused very quickly.  You want to create some sexual anticipation with some erotic talk to turn her on.  Here are 10 things that a woman wants to hear most from her lover:

1. You are so beautiful.
2. I love the way you smell.
3. Your pussy is so pretty.
4. Nobody turns me on as much as you do.
5. You're the sexiest woman I've ever made love to.
6. You're the best lover I've ever had.
7. I love being inside you.
8. I could give you oral sex for days.
9. You have an incredible body.
10. Your breasts are perfect.

Now that you have got her in the mood, spend time kissing her while she is still dressed.  This is the true art of seduction. Here are 10 tips for kissing:

1. Build anticipation by kissing all around your lover’s face.
2. Trace the outline of your lover’s lips with the tip of your tongue.
3. Begin your kiss slowly and gently with emotion and sensitivity.
4. Kiss without using your tongue, slightly open mouthed, with sweet breath.
5. Take your lover’s bottom lip between the two of yours and suck gently.
6. While kissing, lick you lover’s teeth with your tongue.
7. To increase sexual excitement, make your kiss wet.
8. Wrap you’re your lips around your lover’s tongue and suck passionately.
9. Follow your lover’s kissing techniques and emulate them.
10. Use hot or cold liquids to create erotic sensations.

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Okay, now her juices should be flowing and she should be begging you to make passionate love to her.  The more advanced sexual techniques that you need to incorporate into your lovemaking include:

Oral Sex

Slip one or 2 fingers inside her vagina as you gently lick her clitoris.

Suck on her labia (vaginal lips) gently.

Stroke her perineum (between the anus and vaginal opening) while sucking gently on her clitoris.

Gently pull her labia majora apart (outside lips) and lick her labia minora (inside lips) with the tip of your tongue.

Nuzzle your face in her mound and brush your lips and nose over her clitoris.

Lick her entire vulva (external vaginal area) like an ice cream cone with lapping motions.

Read more oral sex techniques in my Guide to Oral Sex book.

Finding and Stimulating your Lover's G-Spot

Have your lover empty her bladder before you start in order to lessen the possible feeling of needing to urinate.

Both of you should get into comfortable positions, preferably with the woman on her back with her pelvis raised by a pillow.

Put your thumb on her pubic mound or clitoris and insert the middle or forefinger of your hand, palm up, in a "come hither" motion inside the vagina.

Push gently in the outer third of the vagina's top region, between the vaginal opening and the cervix.  When you touch a small, ridged patch area, the woman may feel sensitive, as if she needs to urinate.

If her bladder is empty, the sensitive feeling will pass and be replaced with intense, pleasurable feelings.

For more pressure, use any combination of the other fingers.

Use long, linear strokes creating an energetic circuit between your thumb and your finger.

Picture a clock-face on the inside of her vagina, and stroke with your finger from 6 O'clock to 12 o'clock.

Alternatively, imagine your fingers are a "windshield wiper," and stimulate the G-spot moving your fingers from side to side.

Now, put your thumb above the pubic bone with your fingers inside the vagina to stimulate the G-spot from inside and outside simultaneously.

Tap the G-spot area with your finger/s towards her navel in pulsating motions.

Ask her to make a mental note which movements pleasure her most.

The G-spot can also be reached using a specially designed vibrator or by making love in certain positions which are alternatives to the most popular lovemaking positions.

Learn more lovemaking techniques from my Passion Power program.