Dear Dr. Ava

Large Women Fetish

Question: Hi.  I’m a manager in a powerful position at my office.  I’m responsible for hiring a good portion of our company staff.  And unfortunately, I must admit that I’ve allowed a certain fetish of mine to affect my hiring decisions.  In a nutshell, I have a “large woman” fetish.  You know what I mean?  Basically, I find obese women VERY sexy.  As a result, I have hired a handful of job applicants based on this.  Of course, in the past I’ve always found a way to rationalize these hiring decisions in my own mind.  But deep inside, I know it’s unethical.  And though I may flirt, I never make passes at these women.  Here’s my immediate problem: other co-workers have started to notice this hiring trend.  The office rumor mill is working overtime and I fear everyone might know what I’ve been up to.  I can’t just fire these women to correct the issue.  What should I do?

Answer: When in doubt, do nothing!  Although you haven’t disclosed just how many large women you have employed, nobody can say that you’ve discriminated and hired what most people would say is the perfect cheerleader type.  Since there has been no sexual misconduct or sexual harassment, no one but you knows what you have told me.  The fact that you have feelings of guilt about your practice is 99% of your solution.  My advice is that from this point on you should hire according to experience and qualifications, not size.  Your future hiring trends will break the pattern of gossip and that should put the matter to sleep permanently.  In the meantime, stop flirting with your large employees and keep your fetishes out of the work place.  Focus on meeting large women during your social time.  Incidentally, there are plenty of dating websites where you can meet your perfect fantasy woman like www.lovelarge.com.