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Loveology University LU Library Your Sex Life How to Give Your Lover A Massage

How to Give Your Lover A Massage by Dr. Ava Cadell

Introduction to Massage

Massage is a great way to relieve tension, improve blood circulation, move energy around the body, and sexually arouse your lover!  Massage is also a mutually satisfying way of helping couples exhibit intimacy for one another.  Ours is a culture starved for touch, and massage is a quick, easy means to feed this hunger.  “Easy?” You may be asking yourself.  Well, you don’t need to be a certified massage therapist to give a great message.  The most important component of a great massage is the desire to please your lover.  So, here are some suggestions.  For starters, set the mood for a romantic environment by dimming the lights, burning some candles and incense, playing your partner’s favorite relaxing music, and warming the room so that both of you will be comfortable.  I know pretty soon you’ll be making enough heat of your own, but it’s always best to start at a temperature in which it’s comfortable to work, especially since you should both be naked.

Pick up some scented mineral oil, massage oil, or essential oils. Powder or cream works too, if either of you objects to oil, but oil is my absolute favorite!

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Begin with the Back Side

About two tablespoons of oil should be enough to start with.  Pour the oil into your hands first and then rub your hands together so that they will be nice and warm to the touch.  Then place your hands on your lover’s lower back and let your hands glide up your lovers back all the way up to the neck, around the shoulders, and all the way down and over the buttocks.

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The Hand Slide

Now that you’ve got the oil on your lover’s back, begin with your hands parallel to each other and slide them down each side of the spine, massaging all the way down to the lower back and over the buttocks.  Then slide your hands up all the way to the neck, over the shoulders and down the arms to the fingertips.  Repeat this motion at least six times.  As you do this, ask your partner for feedback.  If he/she is not the talkative type, then just know that it’s better to make the massage too soft than too strong.  Remember, it’s all about giving as much pleasure as you can.

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Pull-Ups

For variation, try alternating one hand after the other as you pull up and stroke the sides of your partner’s body.  Start by placing both of your hands over one of your lovers hips and then gently pull up towards the spine.  Then move your hands to the waist and pull up towards the spine.  Then move your hands to the side of the chest or breast and pull up towards the spine. Then put your hands just under the armpits and pull up towards the spine.  Don’t forget to do both sides.

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Kneading

If you have ever kneaded pizza or bread dough, then this technique will be a breeze; but if you haven’t, try squeezing your partner’s back and buttocks between your thumb and fingers in a flowing motion (not too hard) with one hand and then with the other hand.  Now slide your hands to another area on the back and repeat until your lover has been well kneaded from neck to buttocks.  The fleshy parts of the body like the buttocks can stand more pressure, so feel free to squeeze just a little harder and gently spread the cheeks as you knead.  This can be very exciting for the receiver.

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Feather Stroke

Before you move onto the thighs, caress your partner’s neck, shoulders, arms, back and buttocks with your fingertips in a feather stroke for at least five minutes.  If you have fingernails, then gently scratch your lover with them.  You can do this in circular motions, long fluid motions, or from side to side.  Let your light, tickly strokes and caresses create sensual anticipation for your lover as he/she won’t know where you are going to tickle, scratch, or touch next.  If you have medium to long hair and you don’t mind getting oil in it, then I highly recommend you use your hair to caress your lover’s body.  It is very erotic and highly memorable.

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Moving Down to the Feet

You’ll probably need more oil now so don’t forget to put it in your hands first, then onto your lover’s body.  Now do the hand slide technique on the thigh and calf in slow motion.  Follow this with the kneading stroke and then the feathery one.  Do one leg at a time.  The feet are a major erogenous zone so let’s give those tootsies some attention.  Take one foot at a time and smother it in oil, spreading it around the ankle, the heel and in between the toes.  Now use the palm of your hand to slide over the bottom of your lover’s foot back and forth about four times.  Then gently rotate every toe clockwise and anti-clockwise and finally slither your forefinger between each toe.

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Turn your Lover Over

Your lover will probably have a smile on his/her face because your massage is so relaxing and sensual.  So let’s continue the massage by focusing on the stomach and chest/breasts.  Rub plenty of massage oil in your hands and then put your hands lightly on top of the belly button, slowly sliding them up the center of your lover’s stomach and around their nipples, then back down to the belly button.  Do this at least five times because it feels really good and it’s moving energy around the body.  Be very gentle around female breasts.  The male chest can handle a firmer stroke. In fact the male chest can even handle some kneading whereas feather strokes are more appropriate and pleasurable on and around the female breasts.  If you have medium to long hair and you don’t mind getting oil in it, then I highly recommend you use your hair to caress your lover’s body.  It feels highly erotic.

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Nipple Massage

Both men and women have sensation in their nipples, some more than others, so here’s your opportunity to find out how sensitive your lover’s nipples are by giving them a nipple massage.  Use your thumb and index finger to gently massage the nipple in a rotating motion moving clockwise then anti-clockwise.  Ask for feedback so that you get the pressure just right.  Then place your hand gently over the nipple and roll it in the palm of your hand.  Finally, using your thumb and third finger, gently pull up on the nipple so that you are elongating it.  Do one nipple at a time and make sure that all of these motions are done in slow motion. Observe your lover’s body language and listen for pleasure moans and groans.  Ask your lover to rate the nipple massage from 1-10 on a pleasure scale with 10 being the best.

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Pull-Ups

When doing the side pull-ups, basically draw your lover’s body towards you with the palms of your hands alternating one hand after the other.  Do this motion from starting at the hips, moving to the waist, the side of the chest/breast ,and to the armpits just as you did on the back side.

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Moving Down to the Feet

Before you get to the sexual organs, you should massage the front of the legs and feet as you did on the other side using all the strokes you have learned so far.  Remember the hand slide, pull-ups, kneading, and feather stroke.  Always end with the feather stroke using your fingertips, nails, and/or hair.

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Female Genital Massage

On the female genitals, you might want to use a water-based lubricant because if oil gets inside the vagina, it can cause irritation.  Put the oil in your hands and rub your hands together before placing them on her vagina.  Start by focusing on the vulva, which is the outside visible area of the vagina.

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The Landing Strip

Gently rub the massage oil or lube around her vaginal lips all the way down to her anus.  Using the pad of your thumb, trace the outline of her anus and then slowly slide your thumb up the landing strip (perineum) from her anus to her vaginal opening.

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Two-Lips

Then gently part her outer lips with both of your thumbs and caress them in circular motions for at least two minutes.  Next, slide your thumbs up and down her outer lips until they are spread apart, and then do the same with her inner lips.  The inner lips are more sensitive than the outer lips so use less pressure.  Watch for her body language and for the swelling of her vaginal lips, which is a natural progression when a woman gets sexually aroused.

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Clitoral Message

Gently pull the clitoral hood back from the clitoris to expose it.  Then gently slide your thumb and forefinger up and down the sides of the clitoris for about ten strokes.  You may feel it growing as it becomes more excited.  A clitoris can grow three to four times its normal size when it’s fully engorged.  Next massage the head of the clitoris in circular motions using your forefinger or thumb.  Don’t be surprised if she has a body melting, earth shattering orgasm.  The clitoris has 8000 nerve fibers and it’s the primary sexual organ for a woman.  Most women are capable of having a clitoral orgasm when it is stimulated.

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Male Genital Massage

Put plenty of massage oil in your hands and warm it up by rubbing it with both hands, then slowly spread it all over the penis and testicles. Next place one hand on the shaft of his penis and start stoking it in an up and down motion while the other hand gently encircles his testicles. Do this in slow motion for at least three minutes.

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Making the Fire

Rub his penis with both hands as if rubbing a stick to make a fire. This is a sure way to light his fire!

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Spiraling the Stalk

Both hands go in opposite directions in a corkscrew motion over the penis. One hand twists up while the other hand twists downwards.

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Wet and Wild

Now concentrate on just massaging his penis from the top to the bottom covering the glans (head) and sliding your hands down to the base with one hand after another in a fluid motion. Do this for about ten strokes and don’t be surprised if he suddenly climaxes because this stroke feels like he’s inside a tight wet vagina.

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A Final Thought

When giving a massage, always remember to let your lover lead you to the places he or she would like to be massaged the most.  Be sure to respond to your lover’s needs—not your own.  Combine stroking and pressure.  Keep in mind, fleshy parts of the body—thighs, arms, buttocks—can stand more pressure than less fleshy parts like necks and ankles.  While you’re massaging, ask your lover to give you feedback in a positive way like, “I love having my nipples massaged.”  Or, “It feels so good when you use your hair on my chest.”  By exploring your lover’s body, you will enhance your relationship and you will find new areas of sexual excitement that will expand your sexual horizon.  Massage is all about giving the most pleasure to your lover that you possibly can.  It is a wonderful way to express yourself.  Don’t forget to take turns.  It’s important that you learn to receive massages as well as give them.  Relax and enjoy!

 
 
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